Welcome to a new feature on my blog: romance novel plot rewrites.

I found this particular romance novel at Superstore this evening. Rather than reading the back, I am inspired to believe that the plot synopsis is as follows, based solely on the cover image:

The dashing Sir Bartholomew, with eyes of green and paws like the whitest lily petals, was no ordinary cat. Lonely, elusive, and in possession of a vast estate and millions in offshore bank accounts, Bartholomew had wandered many days alone down the hallways of his mansion chasing the elusive red dot of true love – until he met Ferdinand.

Ferdinand, with his Hugh Grant-inspired hairdo and delicate stubble like a recently clear-cut forest, was poor and uncouth but had mastered the sultry art of gazing alluringly over his right shoulder. A part-time veterinary assistant, Ferdinand never dared hope that the chambers of his heart would echo with such sweet meows as those of the pointy-earred, mysterious lord who sauntered into his workplace one misty morning. On the cold, sterilized veterinary table, Ferdinand had not expected to find anything but the doctor’s discarded rubber gloves and a few naive, disoriented fleas.

Little did he know that it was there on that fluorescent-lit metal table that he would find the embrace of deep passion – and the shelter of a millionaire.